Szayel's Revenge
by Icefoxer
Summary: Szayel gets revenge on Ulquiorra...But something goes wrong CH14: The End of all? R&R Cracktastic!
1. The Plan

Second Bleach Story! And this one will be a few chapters long!!!

I don't own Bleach blah blah blah

Might contain spoilers for the new manga chapters

Ps. English isn't my first language

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The door of the 8th Espada's room burst open and the 8th Espada himself came bursting in. Ignoring his Fractions worried questions he made his way quickly to his private bedroom and slammed the door loudly behind him causing several beakers to roll of the tables and break on contact with the floor.

Szayel was furious! _How dare that emo bastard make fun of my clothes! He'll pay!_ Szayel walked over to his drawer and after a few seconds of searching he took out a small brown bottle. An evil glint sparkled in his eyes.

That evening there was an Espada meeting and our favorite pink haired scientist made sure to come before everyone else did. Making sure there was no one in the room he snuck up to the table. The teacups were already filled with tea and ready for the meeting that would start in minutes. Wasting no time Szayel walked over to Ulquiorra's seat and opening the bottle dumped the contents into the Emo-car's tea. Then he snuck out of the room as fast as he could.

Several minutes later the whole Espada and the three traitor shinigami were present at the now starting meeting. Aizen started feeling everyone in on the intruder situation.

"As you know the so called Ryoka are now---bla bla blah blabla-". Szayel wasn't listening he was looking over at Ulquiorra who was seemingly absorbing Aizen's every word. Then finally he lifted the cup and drank all of its contents.

The effect was instant. First Ulquiorra's cheeks turned blue, purple then red and he seemed to be trembling a small amount. Then he seemed to fall unconscious as his head hit the table. At this Aizen stopped talking and someone (probably Grimmjow) snickered.

"Ulquiorra is my speech that boring?" Aizen asked with his oh so fatherly evil tone.

"Hah the idiot caught laziness from Stark!" Grimmjow announced through his laughter.

"Hey!"

Szayel smiled. His revenge was complete. He was sure the pills won't do anything else but put the 4th Espada to sleep. But as he thought that Ulquiorra shifted and sat up with alarming speed. His face wasn't visible for a few seconds because it was still down but as he lifted it everyone in the room gasped.

Ulquiorra was smiling!

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Dun Dun Dun

Find out what Szayel gave Ulquiorra to mess him up next Chapter!

Also what will the Emo-car do now?!


	2. The Consequence

IF:Uhhhh... I'm so sorry I wanted to upload this last week but...school started

Thanks for all the favs and reviews!!!

Szayel: Bleach does not belong to this Author and never will...

IF: TT I wish it did

Ulquiorra: XD

IF & Szayel: 0-0;

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Everyone in the room gasped. Except Tousen who couldn't see and kept asking everyone what was wrong.

Ulquiorra's smile was creepy and seemed unnatural on his face.

Grimmjow was the first one to speak since he sat right across Ulquiorra and the smile was affecting him the most.

"Ulq- Ulquiorra are you like…okay?"

Ulquiorra's smile suddenly grew and Grimmjow swore he could see every one of the 4th Espada's teeth.

"Why thank you for asking I'm super Okay!" Ulquiorra said standing up and waving his hands around like a crazy drug effected fan girl "I feel soo happyeeeee!" On the last note he jumped onto the table and did a twirl. "I will spread my Love and happiness all over Las Notches! " Then using Sonido (Hollow flash step) he dashed out of the room. All that the rest could hear were mad giggles coming from the open door down the hallway.

As soon as he was gone and the mad giggles couldn't be heard Stark walked over to Ulquiorra's abandoned tea cup and examined it "There seems to be something weird in his tea" he then turned the cup so everyone could see the un-dissolved left over tablets. Everyone turned to glare at Szayel (except Tousen) knowing that only he would stoop so low as to put tablets in tea. Szayel could almost feel himself melting in his seat.

"Szayel what did you do to my precious spy/ death bringer/ entertainment system…" Aizen spoke with a strained fatherly tone.

"Eheh he… I might have put my sleeping pills in his tea…"

"And if they are sleeping pills why is he acting this way"

"I like happy dreams" Szayel sweat dropped "So I put some antidepressants in the pills"

Everyone else in the room (even Tousen) sweat dropped too.

"What! You think after all the crap I do I'll have peaceful dreams?!"

"When will the effect wear out?"

"…about 3 days"

Aizen's eye twitched. He couldn't deal with a crazy Ulquiorra for three days. It would bring too much stress. Besides he needed him for a mission.

"If Ulquiorra is restrained can you neutralize the effects?"

"I- I'll try…I need to work on an antidote then…" Szayel stuttered

Aizen was now getting a headache "Fine go. But if you can't make it until Ulquiorra is restrained there will be severe consequences…Grimmjow, Yami, Nnoitra go retrieve Ulquiorra before he does something stupid"

A loud bang could be heard from another side of Las Notches.

"Please hurry!"

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IF: Lol! Things are starting to warm up! There will be more Ulquiorra next chappie and he meets a sertain Pet-sama 

Next chapter will also be longer.. I hope

Szayel: WTF was that explosion anyway


	3. It Begins

IF: Ok two chappies in two days... not bad ;D

Szayel: Yeah yeah Bleach doesn't belong to her

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**Last Time!!!**

_Aizen was now getting a headache "Fine go. But if you can't make it until Ulquiorra is restrained there will be severe consequences…Grimmjow, Yami, Nnoitra go retrieve Ulquiorra before he does something stupid" _

_A loud bang could be heard from another side of Las Notches._

_"Please hurry!"_

**This Time :D**

Ulquiorra has just come out of the kitchen covered in flour and looking more ghostly than ever. All he wanted to do was bake a cake…a "Happy I'm glad we're friends" cake. But the kitchen exploded from all the dough he managed to stuff into the stove. Oh well…

Ulquiorra didn't even bother to dust off the flour and skipped down the corridor with a smile on his face that rivaled Gin's. He headed for a certain orange headed girl's room scaring lower ranked Arrancar along the way.

**At the Ulq Retrieval Party**

Grimmjow, Yami, and Nnoitra, had just arrived at the kitchen scene of crime. Just in time to see several Arrancar crawl out completely covered in dough.

Grimmjow growled "Damn! Emo boy moves fast! His reatsu is already on the opposite side of Las Notches!"

"It's the sugar and the antidepressants…" Nnoitra stated

"They look like cookies" Yami said picking up one of the Arrancar who started to wiggle and scream "wonder how they taste."

"Ugh put that down you don't know where it's been now come one we need to gain on the Emocar I think he just stopped" Grimmjow said as he and Nnoitra disappeared using Sonido.

Yami looked at the Arrancar in his arm and dropped him on the floor" I'll be back… Cookies"

and followed his fellow Emo retrievers.

**Back to Emo boy!**

Orihime was standing like always and looking out the only window in her room. She was bored, hungry and tired of the same routine every day. Sleep, eat (or be forced to eat), stare, be bored, and sleep. Speaking of food she was getting hungry.

"Wonder when Ulquiorra will come to feed me…"

As if he had heard her or she could now magically summon people the said person kicked the door open with such a force that it made a huge dent in the wall.

Orihime jumped in surprise and almost fell over from the sudden action. "Ulquiorra is everything ok?!"

"Orihime-chan!!!!!" Ulquiorra sang in a frighteningly happy tone "My best friend!"

Orihime was dumb folded for a sec but then cheered up and both her and now not so emo boy started a rapid conversation which was too fast for the Author to write down. Then as on cue both folded their hands across their chests criss cross.

"Bwuahahahahaa"

**Somewhere where Aizen is**

A strange laughter rolled through Las Notches for the third time today. Aizen shuddered as he heard it

"Why do I have the sense of impending doom?"

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Szayel: WTF woman I'm not in this chapter!

IF: You'll be in next one don't worry

Next Time: Ulquiorra and Orihime wreak chaos on Las Notches.

Can the Emo Retrieval Party stop them or will they need help?

Toon in next time.. prolly next week or so


	4. Accomplices

IF: Gahh! I'm sorry for missing my usual update time...

It's just school, my procrastinating, and a little writers block.

Szayel: I better be in this chapter woman...

IF: of you are... you are... Muhahhahha!

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**Last Time!!!**

_A strange laughter rolled through Las Notches for the third time today. Aizen shuddered as he heard it_

"_Why do I have the sense of impending doom?"_

**This Time!!! At the Emocar Retrieval Party! XD**

Nnoitra stopped suddenly and Grimmjow slammed into the tall arrancar's back.

"Wtf was that for!?" he yelled somewhat muffled by Nnoitra's back.

"Shh you hear that?" And of course the eerie laugh reaches our favorite search party.

"Damn he got back up…" Grimmjow said as he removed himself from Spooncar's back.

"Hmm…We'll never catch him he's too fast and outranks us…" Nnoitra pondered for a second "I got a plan…"

At said moment Yami arrived and panted holding the wall

"Ah perfect Yami you go follow Ulquiorra, Grimmjow go get Szayel and tell him to bring anything that will help us catch him and I shall get bait" Having finished his instructions Nnoitra sonidoed from the location leaving no room for questions.

"Better get moving fat ass" Grimmjow yelled as he disappeared too.

Yami grunted, unhappy with running after an Espada who greatly outranked him.

**At The Orihime-Ulquiorra Alliance**

Ulquiorra and Orihime ran thought Las Notches searching for something as they rummaged thought storage rooms and just random rooms leaving behind them mess, chaos, and traumatized arrancars. Finally they found the object of their search inside one of the closets. Both her and Ulqu's smiles widened as they looked at several large cans of bright paint, brushes, and glitter.

"See I told you there was some paint in Las Notches!" Ulquiorra squealed happily clapping his hands together "Aizen-sama never got around to painting the walls that's why everything is so white!"

"Now we can make everything pretty!" Orihime hopped exited to get some color into the ghostly palace "Where should we start?"

"Uhn?" Someone behind them asked questionably.

Both trouble makers startled turned around to find none other than Wonderwyce.

"Wonderwyce want to help us with something?!" Ulquiorra asked the little arrancar.

"Un?"

**Szayel's Lab**

Szayel sat patiently waiting for Ulquiorra to be brought to him so the antidote could be administered. He already made the Antidote like an hour ago….Where was everyone!?

Szayel shifted in his chair swirling the contents of the bottle around when his tranquility was interrupted with a loud bang on the door. Grimmjow burst into the lab knocking over several of Szayel's numerous fraction and ran up to the scientist himself.

"Grimmjow… finally do you have Ulquiorra?" Szayel asked in a bored tone.

"Of course fucking not! We can't even find the bastard, he moves too damn fast!" The blue haired arrancar yelled "Anyway Nnoitra has a plan and said we need you and your creepy little gadgets"

"…" Szayel pondered for a second. This was not good if Ulquiorra is not restrained soon Aizen would have Szayel head served on a platter. He stood up…

**Several Minutes later in a Random Corridor**

Nnoitra stood waiting leaned against a wall, a big bag laid on the floor next to him. Finally both Grimmjow and Szayel showed up, with Grimmjow straining under the weight of several dart guns, a cage, fishing poles, boxes, ropes, nets, and what looked to be an elephant gun. Nnoitra sweat dropped.

"Do we really need all that?"

"That's what I asked the pink fag and he said yes" Grimmjow huffed somewhere beneath all the equipment.

Szayel glared at Grimmjow but chose to change the subject "What's in the bag?"

Nnoitra replied by dropping the contents of the bag on the floor. There were lots of black clothes that looked very emo-goth in origin, cases of dark makeup, and a diary titled "Ulquiorra's Personal Diary- Touch this and Die"

"To catch an Emo you must be an Emo" Nnoitra said as the last contents of the bag hit the floor.

The faces of both Szayel and Grimmjow could only be described as a mixture of shock, disgust and pure horror.

**Another random corridor**

Yami collapsed on the floor too tired to move. He was following the trail of destruction for over an hour now and making a loop he was near the throne room again. He looked up only to see that farther up the corridor there was something pink on the throne room doors. Yami deciding he had gone crazy with all the running, promptly lost consciousness on the floor.

**Next Time!**

"We look ridiculous!" Grimmjow complained as he stared at the mirror. "These pants are trying to kill my manhood"

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IF: Anyone have any Ideas for this story? Want them to be included? Then please send me a message or leave a comment containing you Idea -

Szayel: looks at story preview I have a bad feeling about this.

IF: Quiet you! trows pillow


	5. Kitchen Troubles

IF: Thanks Everyone for the Wonderfull Reviews! Special thanks to Hichigo Fan for providing me with insperation for this and next chapters!

Szayel: This Author doesn't own Bleach or it's characters.

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**Last Time!!!**

"_To catch an Emo you must be an Emo" Nnoitra said as the last contents of the bag hit the floor._

**This Time!!! Las Notches in general…**

It was night time in Las Notches…well it was always night time but this was the time of the night when everyone slept. Most arrancar slept uneasily if they slept at all and the arrancar at the kitchen barricaded the doors and now sported makeshift armor made of pots and pans. Lots of lower rank arrancar made makeshift fortresses out of furniture and stayed in groups. Now and then weird sounds could be heard echoing thorough the empty halls. The only ones that actually ignored all of this were Aizen, Gin, and Tousen mostly since all of them were asleep soundly.

**At The UWO (Ulquiorra-Wonderwyce-Orihime) Alliance**

The throne room was the first place on the remodeling list. It took a while to decorate the spacious room even with Ulquiorra using sonido all over the place, and Wonderwyce helping Orihime with the decorations. When they were done they took the remaining paint and skipped out.

"They will all love the new throne room!" Orihime said "And look we look more colorful now too!"

This was mostly true…Ulquiorra's clothes were covered in pink, green, and red paint. His mask and hair were not excluded either. Wonderwyce was mostly covered in yellow, and Orihime was green with orange specks. Some would think they just had a paintball fight...and they might have.

"What should we do now?" Orihime asked as the trio walked by the unconscious Yami completely ignoring him.

"I know!" Ulquiorra yelled happily "We should …

**In a bathroom (Lol I interrupted Ulquiorra's idea… foreshadowingggg)**

After struggling to put on the super tight pants Nnoitra now stood reading Ulquiorra's diary waiting for the others to finish dressing. He wore a long sleeved black shirt and lots of chains attached to the pants. Grimmjow came out of the stall next. He was wearing a black shirt and pants that showed pretty much every bit of his anatomy.

"We look ridiculous!" Grimmjow complained as he stared at the mirror. "These pants are trying to kill my manhood"

"I look weird" Szayel said as he came out of his stall too. He wore a black and white striped scarf with a black shirt, black fingerless gloves, and of course tight black jean pants. He also had dark makeup circles around his eyes and spray on black hair paint (you know the kind that washes out)

"Dude you remind me of the unhappy Ulquiorra" Grimmjow yelled pointing at Szayel "It makes me want to hit you even more now!"

Szayel stared at Grimmjow and decided to move sideways closer to Nnoitra.

"So Nnoitra what did you find out from Ulquiorra's Diary?"

"I found out that" Szayel and Grimmjow held their breath "He writes very bad poems"

All three of them sighed disappointed.

"But I think I know where he will strike next"

**Near the Kitchen (Believe it!)**

The poor tortured kitchen servants started falling asleep one by one but they had to guard their post against the menace that looked suspiciously like one of the Espada.

"Do you think he will come back to finish us off?" One scared arrancar with a pot on his head asked his friend who was wearing a whole pot and pan body armor.

"I don't know" his friend answered "Shh... You hear that?"

All the arrancar stopped talking and moving and listened. Three pairs of footsteps were approaching, and then they stooped at the Kitchen door. After a couple of minutes one of the braver arrancar spoke up.

"Are they gone?"

As if in answer to his question the door exploded from a cero and everyone in the room screamed. Through the smoke came three figures dressed in all black and carrying lots of weapons, ropes, and whatever.

"Holly shit we're going to die! Shinigami are attacking!" Some random arrancar yelled as everyone started running around the room and yelling in wild panic.

"Told you he wouldn't be here" Grimmjow said as he stared at the chaos.

"H'mm then where is he?" Nnoitra asked no one in particular.

Szayel only shrugged.

**Aizen's, and Tousens Rooms**

Ulquiorra smiled as he stood over Aizen with scissors, makeup and all that stuff ya know. At the same time Wonderwyce appeared next to the sleeping Tousen. Both Aizen and Tousen were completely unaware of their midnight visitors.

**Next Time!**

"_Is.. Is my lunch moving!" Halibel yelled as she stared at the mass of 'food' crawl of her plate._

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IF: Anyone have any Ideas for this story? Want them to be included? Then please send me a message or leave a comment containing you idea and it might be posted in the future chapters.

Szayel: Yes don't you see she's scavenging for ideas?

IF: -Hits Szayel with another pillow-

Szayel: Where do those keep coming from?!


	6. The Food That Was

**IF:** Bleh I'm so sick and school hasn't been the best either. Thanks for the Ideas yall! I think I have enought to drag it on for the remainder of Ulquis little adventure!

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**Last** **Time!!!**

_Ulquiorra smiled as he stood over Aizen with scissors, makeup and all that stuff ya know._

_At the same time Wonderwyce appeared next to the sleeping Tousen. Both Aizen and Tousen were completely unaware of their midnight visitors._

**This Time!!! Morning in Las Notches **

It was morning time and the artificial sun inside of Las Notches rose. A weird rooster like hollow climbed up on top of Las Notches and let out a long morning rise and shine yell.

Aizen opened his eyes slowly and made a mental note to murder the stupid hollow if he ever saw it.

He stood up stretching and reached for his clothes that were usually on the chair next to him. (Cause he's only wearing pj undies) The only problem was there weren't any clothes. Aizen groaned and stood up going to the closet. He opened it and gawked. All of his clothes were missing and the only outfit in the closet was a purple doggy suit. Eye twitching Aizen ran a hand over his hair, to calm himself, which for some reason it felt differed today. He stopped frozen and then ran into the bathroom.

**Different Part of Las Notches**

Nnoitra, Szayel, and Grimmjow were practically lying in the hall way after a long nights hunting, laying traps, and more searching. A horrifying yell was heard that seemed to come from the direction of Aizen-sama's room.

"Another victim" Nnoitra mumbled.

"By my calculations the pills will be in effect for 2 more days" Szayel said (completely ignoring the yell) as he was writing something in a little notebook. Grimmjow groaned under Szayel (yes they are lying in pile) "The traps aren't working all they are catching is random arrancar. It pisses me off!" Nnoitra stood up successfully throwing the other two off his back "Then we should lay down more traps."

"We can't, I ran out of them. Besides there is a trap in at least every hallway by now." Szayel replied standing up and brushing off imaginary dirt.

"I vote we shut the fuck up and go have breakfast or I'm going to eat the next idiot that gets caught in a trap!" Grimmjow yelled as he jumped up and not even noticing that he stepped into a rope loop. A few moments later he was dangling upside down looking very pissed off.

"Would you like salt with your arm Grimmjow?"

"Shut up"

**Dining room (Seat number varies with the amount of arrancar)**

Halibel walked into the spacious room followed by her fraction. She glanced over to the head of the table where the Espada and Aizen usually sat. To her surprise Aizen or the other two shinigami weren't there and the only Espada present were Stark (sleeping and drooling on the plate), the old-spada and the spiky mohawk-spada (lol don't know their names yet). Halibel walked over and sat next to Stark and jabbed him in the ribs causing him to wake up with a start.

"Hnmm-mnmn?"

"Where is everyone?" Halibel demanded.

Stark stared at her sleepily "I don't know when we arrived there wasn't anyone here at all…besides all of them" He said pointing at the mass of Numerus, Fraction and who knows who that were all huddled together in the far reaches of the room.. Halibel raised her eye brow at them. They all looked paranoid, scared, freaked out, and sleepy. Some were wearing a kind of makeshift armor of pillows and pans. There was almost every inhabitant of Las Notches including Szayels numerous fraction. Halibel was about to say some thing but the door burst open and all of the pot armor wearing arrancar screamed. Grimmjow, Nnoitra, and Szayel sauntered in. All of them were still wearing the emo clothes and looked exhausted.

"Shut Up!" Grimmjow yelled at the arrancar who all obliged immediately.

They walked over to the rest of the Espada and practically collapsed in the seats.

"You all look…" Halibel started not knowing what to say "...horrible."

Szayel was the first one to speak "We didn't catch Ulquiorra...Aizen is going to kill me" He started weeping in a sort of a mental breakdown.

Grimmjow stared at the still covered dishes "Why isn't anyone eating!?"

"Aizen-sama isn't here yet we can't start without him…" Old-Spada replied

"Screw that!" Grimmjow yelled as he uncovered one of the dishes. Instantly all his desire for food was gone. On the plate lied something made out off ice cream, chillipeppers, fish and some other ingredients he couldn't even recognize. He stared at it before running off to a bathroom to puke his guts out.

Curious Halibel uncovered her plate too. She regretted it. Unlike Grimmjow's you couldn't even tell what it was at all. It was a kind of greenish mushy lump.

"Nice" Stark said as he fell asleep again.

"I think we need a new plan" Szayel stated looking over at Nnoitra

"Yes that we do …that we do" Nnoitra mumbled falling asleep.

"Is…Is my lunch moving!" Halibel yelled as she stared at the mass of 'food' crawl of her plate.

After that statement everyone seemed to jerk awake and jump back from the table.

"Technicaly it's breakfast" Szayel said somewhat allarmed by the turn of events.

"Stay back!" Halibel yelled as she combated the now alive food with her zanpakto (I fail at spelling).

**Somewhere some hallway**

"Do you think everyone will like my food" Orihime asked her partners in crime.

"I think they'll love it" Ulquiorra answered while sprinkling something white all over the floor.

"Un" Wonderwyce chirped while drawing a big pink unicorn on the wall.

"But do you really think Szayel won't mind that we used his ingredients to make some of it?"

"Oh I think he won't mind at all"

**Excerpts from Next Time!(Not in order at all)**

"_M-my Throne room! W-What happened to it?!" _

"_So whats wrong with my hair?"_

"_Run the food wants to eat us all!"_

"_Who's the genius that put this trap here?"_

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IF: Next time all of you get to know what UWO did to the throne room, and our favourite traitors! And even more randomness ess

Ideas still welcome -wink-


	7. Forces Unite

IF: Welcome to this weeks daily serving of Szayel's Revenge!

I'm somewhat aware that I've been mistreating Gin... I'm sorry Ginnnn -hugs Gin-

Gin: Woman! You're crushing my bones!

* * *

**Last Time!!!**

_The Breakfast food has gone cannibalistic and is trying to eat everyone. _

_The UWO are up to their tricks. _

_Aizen is… well you'll see_

**This Time!!! In a Hallway yet again…**

Gin walked down a freshly painted hallway. Ignoring the horrifying amounts of color he tried to concentrate on finding a certain group. Gin was thankful he never fell asleep too tightly, because he was able to escape all of the pranks (curtsey of UWO) and traps (curtsey of Grimmjow, Szayel, and Nnoitra aka GSN).

He finally started to close in on the reatsu and was close enough to hear the last part of the conversation.

"But do you really think Szayel won't mind that we used his ingredients to make some of it?"

"Oh I think he won't mind at all" ((Read the ending of last chapter if you don't get it))

Gin smiled. He found them.

**Near the Throne Room.**

Aizen was pissed. He was as pissed as he could ever be.

No it wasn't the fact that he was wearing no clothes but a pink bathrobe, which was thankfully still in his bathroom when he went in there. (He refused to wear that doggy suit)

No it wasn't the fact that he had no shoes or pants.

It was the fact that somebody had dyed his hair pink. PINK! And it wouldn't wash off!

He neared the throne room, surely a few seconds on his glorious throne will raise his spirits. But he knew something was wrong as soon as he spotted someone lying on the floor. As he got closer that someone turned out to be Yami who was still out cold. Ignoring the need to kick the lazy Espada, Aizen went further down the hall to the throne room doors. He stopped in his tracks as he spotted two sparkly pink and red unicorns on the huge doors. Aizen was torn between going back to his room to sleep the whole day off pretending that nothing happened or going in and facing the horror.

He went in.

What he almost made him have a heart attack. Everything was colorful, like a couple of tripped out hippies had a party. There were many string decorations and balloons. And the worst?

His throne was replaced with a fuzzy rainbow chair.

Aizen collapsed on his knees.

"M-my Throne room! W-What happened to it?!"

"Is something wrong Aizen-sama?" Someone asked.

Aizen turned around ready to rip anyone to shreds, only to find Tousen who didn't look any better than the room. Tousen's uniform was all colorful, a hippie would be jealous of those colors. His hair was a huge green afro and there were eye's drawn on his goggles. Aizen suppressed an urge to cry. He yelled instead.

"Szzzzaaaayeeeellllllll!!!!!"

**Meanwhile on the Anti Food battle front**

"Szzzzaaaayeeeellllllll!!!!!"

Szayel shuddered he'll get it now, but kept his focus on the lasagna that wanted to take a bite of his leg.

"This all reminds me of something but I can't put my finger on it…"

"Run the food wants to eat us all!" Some random arrancar yelled.

"Retreat!" Halibel yelled somewhere of to the side.

As if anyone needed to be told that. Half of the room already escaped and most tried to squeeze thought right now.

If fact the only Espada that were left in the room were Halibel, Nnoitra, Stark and Szayel. Grimmjow was still in the bathroom and the others escaped. Yami was in places unknown.

Some of the army was eaten by the monstrous food.

As the doorway cleared and the remaining occupants escaped Nnoitra and Stark started blockading the door with furniture. After putting a huge couch (Aizen's couch) in front of the doors the blockade seemed secure enough to relax. Grimmjow chose that moment to appear out of the nearest door way. He looked rather green and shaken up.

Looking at the door blockade he turned to the only people still brave enough to be in the hallway. "What the fuck happened?"

"The food came alive and tried to eat us." Nnoitra stated as if nothing was wrong.

Grimmjow's face seemed to get greener.

**Another Part of Las Notches**

"…and that is reason number 101 why you should let me into your group" ((The Author was too lazy to write each reason)) Gin finished smiling at Ulquiorra, Orihime, and Wonderwyce who all smiled back.

"But of course you can join. We already said you could when you asked the first time" Ulquiorra stated.

"Oh" Gin scratched his head.

"Three cheers for the UWOG!" Orihime yelled cheerfully.

**Somewhere Someplace**

"Who's the genius that put this trap here?" Grimmjow yelled as he got caught into another Ulquiorra trap. He was now hanging upside down in a net.

Szayel sighed "Grimmjow you put that there"

"These drawings are horrible" Nnoitra said as he stared at yet another vandalized wall.

Halibel cut down Grimmjow and he collapsed on the floor still entangled in the net.

"I can see how you idiots couldn't catch Ulquiorra. It's a good thing me and Stark came along or you would never catch him."

"No one asked you to come" Nnoitra huffed under his breath but Halibel still heard him and glared.

"What's wrong with Grimmjow?" Stark asked breaking up the growing Halibel and Nnoitra argument.

Everyone turned and looked on the floor where Grimmjow was squirming and purring.

"WTF is wrong with him! Did he catch fleas or something?" Nnoitra yelled pointing at Grimmjow.

Szayel walked over and ran a hand across the floor. He looked at his hand analytically, and sniffed it.

"Catnip"

Everyone sweat dropped.

**Back with Aizen**

"So what's wrong with my hair?" the poor unknowing Tousen asked Aizen who was using Yami as a mount.

"You don't want to know"

"Why do I have to do this?" Yami asked and Aizen hit him over the head.

"Cause I own you. Now mush!"

Little did they know a certain foursome was hiding and watching them.

**Next Time! (No I love sushi!)**

_UWOG against GSNHS in a full out "fight"._

* * *

R&R 

The Author has nothing else to brag about.


	8. The Misfortunate Encounter

IF: Gahh I'm sorry I wasn't updating for 2 weeks now!

I had some quarter end finals and tests -.-

Plus I had a PSAT test this saturday. SATURDAY!

Anyways without further delay here is this weeks chapter : D

-hides before anyone has a chance to maul & torch her-**

* * *

**

**Last Time!!!**

"_So what's wrong with my hair?" the poor unknowing Tousen asked Aizen who was using Yami as a mount. _

"_You don't want to know"_

"_Why do I have to do this?" Yami asked and Aizen hit him over the head._

"_Cause I own you. Now mush!"_

_Little did they know a certain foursome was hiding and watching them._

**This Time!!! **

Everyone who was still brave enough to travel in the hallways of the so called Las Notches palace would have eventually seen the strangest sight of their lives; Aizen riding atop of Yami in a pink bathrobe and pink hair, and wildly swinging his Zanpaku-to around yelling random commands. Tousen ran beside them oblivious to the way he or anyone else looked.

Rounding the corner they ran into a certain hunting party.

"Oh my Gawd!" Nnoitra yelled as he had the misfortune to be the one ahead of the group.

He fell backward and onto the poor sleepy Stark who carried Grimmjow who was still on cloud 9. Halibel tripped over and also fell. It was kind of like a falling tree effect. Szayel was the only one who sidestepped out of the way in time.Yami sweat dropped as he watched his fellow Espada topple over.

Taking the opportunity of a distraction Aizen jumped off Yami and advanced toward Szayel with a maniacal look on his face.

"Oh Szayelllll" he sang "Come hereee. I got something for youuu"

Szayel knew better than to stay in the line of sight of the maniacal pissed off Aizen so he turned around ready to run and-

Got hit with a bottle in the face.

Down the hallway Ulquiorra, Orihime, Wonderwyce and Gin stood grinning on a huge cannon that took up most of the space in the passage way. Gin grinned wider as he loaded a whole box of beer bottles into the cannon.

"Ready Set-"

Everyone in the hallway who was not safely on the cannon and out of its range paled, except Grimmjow (still out of it) and Tousen.

"What's going on?" Tousen asked but all he got in reply were shouts. All the Espada scampered to their feet and started running like hell. They dove into the first door they saw, with Yami going in last and getting stuck in the small doorway.

"I'm not afraid of you!" crazed Aizen yelled.

"-Fire!" was the only reply before multiple thuds and breaking sounds could be heard echoing through the empty halls.

**Later**

Almost the whole Emo hunting party sat in the only safe remaining place in Las Notches.

Ulquiorra's room.

Yami was the only one standing due to but ache resulting from bottles being hit against it with a speed of about 50 miles per hour. Everyone else was scattered around the room sitting on the floor, the huge bed, or cushions.

"Man the bastard has a huge room" Grimmjow said while stretching on the bed "I guess being Aizen's bitch has its rewards"

"Not now Grimmjow" Halibel huffed.

"We need a new plan now that Gin made it into the equation." Szayel added "I still have more than enough antidote, we could try to sedate all of them."

"I don't think that's a good idea" Nnoitra mumbled thought a cushion as he layed face down in it "Every one of your little experiments has a little side effect."

"Where are the other Espada?" Yami muttered "The Old guy and Mohawk."

"They are in that make shift encampment outside Las Notches" Stark stated pointing out the window.

"What!" Everyone roared as they jumped toward the window to look outside.

Sure enough there were many little tents scattered on the white sands of Hueco Mundo.

And sure enough the two missing Espada were waiving to them.

"Those bastards!" Grimmjow growled.

Szayel sighed "This is going to be harder than I thought"

**Someplace**

Aizen and Tousen layed on the hallway floor that looked like a beer battle zone.

"Tousen"

"Yes Aizen sama?"

"I can't feel my face"

"I know Aizen sama it will be all over soon"

"Growwwwllllll"

"Aizen sama was that you?"

"No…"

Both turned around in time to see something that looked suspiciously like casserole to be creeping towards them. Both of the shinigami traitors looked at it for a few seconds and started yelling.

**Next Time!**

Day 2 nears to an end.

* * *

IF: -peeks out of a barrel- Srry it was so short... but something is better than nothing eh -nudge- eh -nudge- R&R 


	9. Kitties Should Be Fed

IF: I was...ocupied with Hallows Eve and candy...**

* * *

**

**Last Time!!!**

_Both turned around in time to see something that looked suspiciously like casserole to be creeping towards them. Both of the shinigami traitors looked at it for a few seconds and started yelling._

**This Time!!! **

**Ulquiorra's Room…**

Failing to come up with new ideas to catch Ulquiorra our favorite search party decided it was time to rest. Grimmjow was lying curled up in a ball on the humongous bed where Szayel, Stark and Nnoitra were already asleep (note that the bed was huge so they had plenty of space there). Yami was imitating a beached whale by laying face down on the floor.

Halibel refused to fall asleep with so many males in the room, besides she was hungry. Thus she started rummaging through the room trying to find Ulquiorra's mini fridge. How did she know he had one? Because she had one!

"Where did he put it…?" She whispered opening what looked like a closet door. There were plenty of identical uniforms that filled the small closet space. She was about to shut the door again but she heard a rustle behind her.

"Foood!" She turned around just in time to see Grimmjow flying at her full speed with a crazed look on his face. Halibel barely dodged the flying Grimmjow as he rammed into the closet successfully getting him self buried in clothes.

"Grimmjow are you mad!" She screamed at the pile that contained the said assailant.

"What the hell are you yelling about?" Nnoitra asked from the bed stretching his long arms "You woke me up." And he wasn't the only one that woke up. The beached whale and Stark didn't respond. But Szayel was currently sitting up yawning "What happened?"

"Grimmjow tried to eat me!"

"He did?" Stark mumbled rolling over to face Halibel.

Before anyone could say anything else munching sounds could be heard from under the clothes pile.

Halibel gasped "Oh. My. Gawd! Grimmjow's eating himself!"

"And I thought I was a cannibal" Szayel mumbled to himself.

"Grimmjow! No! Who will play poker with me on Fridays if you eat yourself?!" Nnoitra yelled as he leaped off the bed and over the sleeping Yami. Landing, he crossed the room in one long stride and stopped at the closet "Suicide is not the answer man!" he began digging through the clothes. Everyone, except Yami, surrounded the closet curious to see what will happen next. After a few seconds Nnoitra gasped. Grimmjow was happily devouring the contents of a mini fridge that seemed to have been hidden in the closet.

"Grimmjow you bastard don't hog all of that food!"

After those words everyone dived right into the closet trying to get a piece of nice non-contaminated non-evil food.

**Outside Las Notches in the Camps.**

Ichigo, Chad and Ishida stood wide eyed staring at the large mass of arrancar and their makeshift tents that seemed not to even pay attention to them.

"What are they doing?" Ichigo asked puzzled.

"It looks like a refugee camp" Ishida stated looking around.

"Heyyy" Ichigo yelled as he ran down the sand dune toward the encampment.

"Ichigo you idiot!" Ishida yelled "We should follow him"

Chad nodded as they followed the orange haired shinigami.

**Next Time!**

Will Ichigo & co be killed?

What happened to Aizen and Tousen?

Will Icefoxer update faster?

Find out next time on _Szayels Revenge!!!!_


	10. Nighttime Agreements

IF: By the way if anyone is wondering this story is set during the first attempt to rescue Orihime. Ichigo & co were mentioned in the first chapter as the Ryoka. Yes it took them two days to get to Las Notches because they were far away and they didn't meet Nel.

Now comes the question where is the 9th Espada Aaroniero…? I don't like him. I guess I can mention him somewhere in here….

Thanks Saria19 for the wonderful review and ideas!

* * *

**Last Time **

_Ichigo, Chad and Ishida stood wide eyed staring at the large mass of arrancar and their makeshift tents that seemed not to even pay attention to them. _

"_What are they doing?" Ichigo asked puzzled._

"_It looks like a refugee camp" Ishida stated looking around._

"_Heyyy" Ichigo yelled as he ran down the sand dune toward the encampment._

"_Ichigo you idiot!" Ishida yelled "We should follow him"_

_Chad nodded as they followed the orange haired shinigami._

**This Time!!! w**

**The Camps**

Ichigo ran into the camp fool speed making several arrancar jump out of the way. He skidded to a stop and grabbed the nearest, and shortest, arrancar by the cuff.

"Hey who's in charge here?"

The arrancar wiggled in his grasp obviously being over traumatized from the past two days, so he just pointed toward a tent that seemed to be larger than others and was currently the closest to Las Notches. Ichigo dropped the poor arrancar and proceeded toward it. The arrancar stood up dusting himself of when moments later Ishida and Chad stormed past him knocking him down again. The arrancar gave up and decided to have a nap on the nice warm sand.

**Big Ol' Tent**

Ichigo stormed into the tent surprising its current inhabitants.

"I demand to know what is happening here and where is Orihime!" He yelled at an old guy and a guy with a mohawk. "And who are you!?"

The Mohawk guy stood up "I am Zomari Le Roux 7th Espada. And the question who are you?"

"Little whipper snappers think your so cool running around. Both of you sit down have some tea" the old guy espada said. But when no one sat down he shouted with a commanding voice "I said SIT!"

**Later**

Currently Ishida, Chad, Ichigo, Zomari and the old guy were all sitting cross-legged on pillows around a low makeshift table.

"Sooo can you tell me all of that again…slowly." Ichigo said scratching his head.

Zomari sighed "Basically Szayel, the 8th Espada, drugged Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra went crazy and is currently allied with Gin, Orihime and Wonderwyce, and all of them have been wrecking chaos in Las Notches for the past two days till now. Grimmjow, Nnoitra, Halibel, Stark, Szayel and Yami are currently trying to catch them. Aaroniero the 9th Espada seemed to have been killed by the army of living food. Most of Las Notches is in a horrible state, so we had to evacuate the remaining arrancar that still haven't lost their mind or been eaten. Also Aizen-sama seems to have lost his mind."

"Sooo" Ichigo mumbled.

Ishida hit him over the head "Idiot, This means Orihime is in there with the crazy Espada, and the man eating food!"

"Ok so our part of the deal is done now you know what's going on" The Old Espada grumbled "Now tell us where can we hide from Aizen."

"Well there is the Vizard warehouse down at Karakura town in the human world. The Vizard are part hollow but-" Ichigo didn't have time to say anything else as Zomari ran to the tents entrance and yelled to every arrancar outside, who seemed to have gathered there.

"Pack your belongings everyone; we're going to the human world. We got ourselves a hiding spot!" This was met by a huge uproar of happy cheering and clapping.

"Do you think we should warn the Vizards" Ishida whispered tho Ichigo.

Ichigo thought for a second about how the Vizards treated him "Nah they'll be fine"

**In the Human World**

It was ShinjiHirako's turn to buy the groceries. He thought it was going to be another normal boring day but he was proven wrong as soon as he stepped out of the warehouse. There surrounding the warehouse was a huge amount of arrancar that looked hopefully at Shinji. One of the stepped forward (Old Espada).

"Hey cousin mind if we crash here"

Shinji looked wide eyed at him and raising his fists into the air yelled "Ichigoooooooooooooooo"

* * *

IF: So people vote should the next day be the last one or should Ulquiorra be drugged once again to prolong the craziness? 


	11. Back to the Kitchen

IF: I've been gone for…1, or 2 weeks... GAH!

* * *

Stupid school -.-

I had problems starting to write this….Every time I sat down

Thanks everyone for the wonderful review and ideas!

**Last Time **

"_Basically Szayel, the 8__th__ Espada, drugged Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra went crazy and is currently allied with Gin, Orihime and Wonderwyce, and all of them have been wrecking chaos in Las Notches for the past two days till now. Grimmjow, Nnoitra, Halibel, Stark, Szayel and Yami are currently trying to catch them.__ Aaroniero the 9__th__ Espada seemed to have been killed by the army of living food. Most of Las Notches is in a horrible state, so we had to evacuate the remaining arrancar that still haven't lost their mind or been eaten. Also Aizen-sama seems to have lost his mind."-Zomari_

_Ichigo, Ishida, and Chad arrive at the Las Notches…well the camps outside of Las Notches and Ichigo tells the refugees about a hiding spot in the human world (with the Vizards) in exchange for the entrance in the said Las Notches._

_Also it's the last day that Ulquiorra will be loopy (If nothing happens), will Las Notches return to normal or will the craziness continue!_

**This Time!!! 0w0**

**Inside Las Notches.**

Ichigo & co. ran. They ran like crazy people on a 10 meter sprint. What's the reason of their running? The murderous food!

Ichigo cursed. "What the hell did they do in here? Why does this place look like a dump? And more importantly….WHY is that food reminding me of Orihime? "

"Kurosaki! This isn't the time for questions! In case you didn't notice we're about to get eaten!" Ishida huffed as he tried not to trip on the broken bottles that seemed to litter the floor of every hallway.

Chad said nothing he concentrated on running and searching for a hiding spot. On the next turn he saw one. It was a large doorway that seemed pretty beaten up but still standing and for some reason there was lots of flour on the floor around it (from Ulqu's cooking attempts in Chap 3). Chad turned to both of his friends and saw that they had the same plan. Ichigo& co. burst into the closed room and closed the door in the "face" of the food. Their entrance was accompanied by a large amount of screaming. Ichigo & co. turned around to see that they had entered the kitchen with servant arrancar that were currently screaming their heads off.

"Well this is ironic…" Ishida mumbled.

"What are all of you doing here? Didn't all arrancar evacuate just now?" Ichigo said to the screaming arrancar that slowly started to loose their voices.

One of the braver arrancar steeped forward (the same one that spoke up in Chap 5) "Only all the Numeros and two Espada left. They said all the servants had to stay and we were too weak to save." A couple of others nodded and some started crying.

"Aw geez… don't go all emo on us" Ichigo said almost to himself while scratching his head. He looked around. The place was pretty torn up there were marks as if from explosions, there was a mess of different ingredients, crying arrancar, and on one of the counters closest to him Ichigo spotted a little white bottle. Walking over to it he picked up the bottle and read the label.

"Szayel Extra Potent Antidepressants. Warning dissolve in liquid before ingesting...or else."

Ichigo looked at the bottle then at the arrancar, bottle, arrancar, bottle, Ishida. Surely the arrancar can't help them find Orihime and fight the food in this condition…but if they were happier.

"Hey Ishida do you think you can make some tea?"

**Later**

There was a tea pot and lots of cups standing on the counter ready to be drunk.

"Time to add the magic pills" Ichigo said as he lifted a cut and dumped the whole thing into the cup.

"Kurosaki you idiot! What are you doing?!" Ishida yelled as he witnessed this act of stupidity. "You're only supposed to put one pill in a cup."

"Opps I-"

_**Bam!**_

The kitchen door was once again hit open with a giant amount of force. If kitchen doors could cry than this one could've cried a lake. The arrancar started yelling again but since their voice boxes couldn't take so much punishment they didn't make a sound and looked like mimes mimicking screaming.

In through the door came the UWOG all happy with the three day's work and all still covered in paint. Orihime spotted Ichigo and co. and waved happily to them. "Hi Kurosaki-san!" She giggled and ran/bounced to their location. "O-Orihime" Ichigo mumbled stunned. What happened next stunned him more. Ulquiorra skipped over and almost jump hugged him (thankfully Ichigo stepped out of the way), but the fall didn't faze Ulquiorra as he jumped back up and smile-stared at Ichigo. "What's wrong with him?" Ishida whispered to Gin. "He's high" Gin answered smiling.

"New friends!!!" Ulquiorra yelled happily as he grabbed Ichigo's arm and started prancing around the room dragging Ichigo along.

"Very high…" Gin whispered again.

But as Gin said it Ulquiorra seemed to stop in mid air and all of the color went from his face and the air around his seemed to get cold.

He looked up scanning the room with his melancholic look.

"Why is the prisoner out of the room? Why is this place so dirty? And why is this piece of trash holding my hand?"

* * *

IC: Oh noes….Don't worry this isn't over yet… 


	12. It Shall Continue!

IF: Once again stupid school…

I had problems starting to write this….Every time I sat down

I wrote like a word…

Also I'm working on another fanfic at the same time..soo..yeah...

Thanks everyone for the wonderful review and ideas!

* * *

**Last Time **

_But as Gin said it Ulquiorra seemed to stop in mid air and all of the color went from his face and the air around his seemed to get cold. _

_He looked up scanning the room with his __melancholic__ look._

"_Why is the prisoner out of the room? Why is this place so dirty? And why is this piece of trash holding my hand?"_

**This Time!!! **

Ichigo panicked. The Espada went from crazy to his usual self in like a few seconds!

Ichigo swung his tea cup holding hand, forgetting that there was "Szayel Extra Potent Antidepressants" in it. The tea splashed onto Ulquiorra's face and into his open mouth as he was about to say something.

Ulquiorra blinked. His eyes turned a pinkish color and his smile came back even bigger than before.

He turned to Ichigo "Ichigooo-kunnn will you be my friendddd" He said in a high pitched voice. Ichigo stared, his expression even more terrified now.

"Hmmm that was a quick solution!" Gin said with his usual smile "Congrats Ichigo-kun you saved us from emo Ulquiorra!"

Then Ulquiorra squeaked and sonidoed out of the kitchen at top speed. In that moment if you were a hollow about several miles away from Las Notches you would be wondering on what was that horrible yelling coming from that huge structure.

**In Ulquiorra's room**

Grimmjow, Nnoitra, Halibel, Stark, Szayel and Yami were all still in Ulquiorra's room relaxing. There was enough food and they didn't have to worry about intrusions since Yami was now plopped against the door making it nearly impossible for anyone to enter.

"Okay Ulquiorra should be back to be normal self by now…We should leave" Szayel stated from a beanie chair.

"I dunno how about you guys but I'm too comfy to leave" Grimmjow yawned from the bed where he was curled up with Stark. In a friendly way! You pervs! You know who you are!

Nnoitra and Halibel had disappeared into the closet some time ago and still haven't resurfaced. It's not like anyone would risk they lives to find out why…

And then…

**BAM!**

The door flew open and Yami was send flying across the room and out of the window. The sound of breaking glass and Yami's yell woke everyone up and made Nnoitra and Halibel resurface.

In the door way stood very happy pink faced and eyed Ulquiorra who was dragging a very scared looking Ichigo. Once Ulquiorra saw everyone in the room he squeaked again.

"Yey! All my friends are throwing a party for meee! I'll go get the others!" And with that he sonidoed out while dropping Ichigo in the door way.

"What. Did. You. Do!" Szayel yelled at Ichigo.

In that moment Ichigo's friends (Ishida and Chad) ran up to his location.

They gawked at the amount of Espada in one room for a few seconds.

"Never mind that now we have to hide again… Ulquiorra knows where we are" Halibel said while coming out of the closet.

"True and YOU" Szayel pointed at Ichigo and co. "Have to help us!"

**Another Location In the Human World In A Warehouse**

Shinji sweat dropped. Who knew the whole arrancar army could fit in the basement?

There were problems at first…especially with Hiyori and the old man Espada. Both of them had a foul temper and were usually complaining.

Also there were problems with Lisa as arrancar kept reading her…"manga" behind her back.

Otherwise…

There was a loud crash somewhere and lots of yelling from Hiyori followed.

No this was just like having some distant relatives over for holidays.

* * *

IF: this is a short Chapter I know…I'll try to make the next one bigger. 

My brain isn't working right now.


	13. New Evil on Christmas

IF:

Status: Enjoying Vacation

Ps. I want assorted preserved bird wings…

-Thanks everyone for the wonderful review and ideas!

* * *

**Last Time **

"_Never mind that now we have to hide again… Ulquiorra knows where we are" Halibel said while coming out of the closet._

"_True and YOU" Szayel pointed at Ichigo and co. "Have to help us!"_

_\_

_So Grimmjow, Nnoitra, Halibel, Stark, Szayel and joined forces with Ichigo, Ishida, and Chad._

_Yami's… out the window….That one other fish tank guy's dead._

**This Time!!! **

"Are you sure he didn't follow us?" A voice said in the darkness.

"Shhh"

"Hey! Who's grabbing my butt!" Someone else whispered.

"Holly Shi-! Ishida your glasses do reflect non existent light!"

"No I believe that's Szayel"

"STFU" an angry voice answered.

"Can we get some light in here? This is pissing me off!" a very annoyed voice whispered.

Almost immediately the light went on. Everyone in the room looked at Halibel who turned it on. (The light! The light! It burnssss)

"Now why couldn't you do that earlier?" Nnoitra asked still very annoyed.

"I thought we were being secretive" She said non emotionally.

"So why exactly are we in a giant closet?" Ishida asked looking at the room they were located in. Now I should probably explain that they ran away from Ulquiorra's room and were now in THE closet, where all arrancar get their uniforms.

Szayel smiled his glasses reflecting light evilly. "Because you Ishida shall be the Bait!" He said triumphantly.

"B-Bait!?"

**Some Time Later**

Ishida stood red faced in a random hallway, while wearing a white puffy dress. As Szayel put it a "Szayel Original Dress".

"How exactly is this helping us to catch Ulquiorra?"

"I don't know. But it seemed like a good idea at the time" Szayel said as he peeked out of a room. And everyone else behind him agreed with nods and weird sniggers.

**Outside a Window**

"Hello? Anyone there? Help?!" Yami yelled hanging on to his life on a windowsill.

**With Aizen and Tousen**

"Augh… What happened?" Aizen said as he recovered consciousness. Upon recovering his sight Aizen discovered that he was on a giant Christmas tree, dressed as an angel and Tousen dressed as Santa was still unconscious right below him.

"I see you have awakened" a voice whispered out of the dark corner of the room "Good…"

"W-Who are you?" The shocked Aizen asked.

The shadowy figure stepped forward to reveal no one else than Orihime!

"You! Are you the one who did this?!" Aizen shouted.

"Yes! I did it all! I planned this from the start! I manipulated Ulquiorra!" Orihime laughed evilly

"Why?" Aizen shout-asked,

"I want to take over Las Notches! And then the world!" She said with an evil smirk "When the arrancar come back and see how pathetic you are and how great I am they shall follow me!"

Aizen blacked out just as Orihime started laughing.

* * *

IC: Oh noes Orihime evil? Wtf am I doing? Find out next time on Szayel's Revenge!

(Also only 2 chapters left to go)


	14. And So It Ends

IF: I'm not completely dead….just slightly.

I'm sorryyy

* * *

**Last Time!**

"_I want to take over Las Notches! And then the world!" She said with an evil smirk "When the arrancar come back and see how pathetic you are and how great I am they shall follow me!"_

**This Time!**

_It all seemed to go down hill. The lives of many are at steak. We shall see if we survive till sunrise, then we look towards the west where an army of white shall save us._

Nnoitra smirked as he wrote down the last line in a little diary. He was so poetic and never knew it!

"What are you doing?" asked a chronically annoyed and angry Grimmjow.

"Nothin'" Nnoitra answered while stuffing the small book somewhere in his puffy pants.

Grimmjow glared at him but continued to walk anyways.

Grimmjow, Nnoitra, Halibel, Stark, Szayel, Ichigo, Ishida, and Chad (breathes in deep) were all walking towards the throne room, well Stark, since he kept falling asleep every now and then, was carried by Chad. Everyone of them intent on getting this over with.

"Why are we going to the throne room anyway?" Ichigo said while trying to not step on any secret hidden traps that seemed to be abundant in Las Notches.

"Cause it is the last place anyone would expect someone to be, but yet they are there anyway. And if we go there we would find someone." Szayel responded.

Everyone just nodded, everyone except one.

"Whattt?" Ichigo drawled out, while stepping on a tile that seemed to click.

A rumbling sound could be heard from behind.

"Oh shi- RUN!"

**At the Same time**

"Go Fish!"

Zomari put down his cards. "I'm sorry but we're playing poker…"

"Don't you back talk to me!" The old Espada yelled.

The rest of the players, mainly the Vizards and a few arrancar, sighed.

"I'm bored" one of the arrancar said and many complaints burst forward from the agitated 'army' at the two Espada and Vizard.

Old Espada jumped onto the table. "I say we take back Las Notches and defeat the evil beast!"

**Back At Las Notches****. Several…Strange Trap Avoiding and Plotting Hours Later**

Ichigo and co. and Espada burst into the throne room, which was now more girlish than ever before. At the same time the arrancar army and the other two Espada, followed by the Vizards, burst in from another door, the west door, which led into the same throne room. They stared at each other and the room in a silent horror.

This silence was interrupted by Orihime's laughing from the direction of the throne and everyone now turned to face the not so sweet girl.

Orihime stood flanked by Ulquiorra on one side and gin on the other and Wonderwice somewhere there. Aizen and Tousen were sitting tied down to a chair in front of her.

"Welcome! To my Las Notches!" She said evilly.

"Orihime!" Ichigo yelled stunned.

"Wow the girl has guts…" Grimmjow whispered to Nnoitora, who just shrugged.

It was Szayel who finally took action that seemed to make partial sense and had actual meaning. "I fail to see how you can rule Las Notches with only the four of you…there is an army of us so it would make sense that we shall defeat you."

"On the contrary…" Orihime clapped her hands and an army of servant arrancar went in.

"Sorry…She offered medical!" One of them said.

Also the mutant food rolled in.

"_Glotonería_"

The food became none other than the 9th Espada, Aaroniero.

Everyone in the room, except the Orihime conspirators, gaped at the sudden turn of events.

"Well Szayel! You just had to use you logic didn't you!" Halibel sighed.

Szayel turned towards her "But…"

"By the way Aizen wants his revenge." Orihime snickered.

"Wha!?" Szayel turned around just in time to see a crazed Aizen going towards him and-

**Bam!**

Szayel woke up, finding himself on the ground in his room.

"It was a dream?" After checking that his head was attached to his head it was indeed proven so, but still he needed more proof. Jumping up ad not bothering to change out of his PJ's, which were a white shirt and pants so he wasn't breaking the 'white uniform law', but barefoot, the paranoid Szayel raced from his room and thought his lab. This appearance of a crazed looking bed haired Espada scared many of his Números, and later any of the arrancar that saw him in the hallways.

He practically burst through the door as he reached his destination, the Espada Meeting Room.

Many shocked heads turned to look at the heavily breathing pink haired Szayel.

"Ah Szayel Aporro I believe you were on sick leave were you not? If you were feeling up to the-" Aizen began but was seemingly ignored by the pink scientist, who ran up to Ulquiorra and started pocking him.

Ulquiorra in turn looked at Szayel in an emotion void way. "What are you doing trash?"

Szayel sighed relieved and almost started crying from joy. "YournothappyandomgIhadaweirddreamandyouwerethereitseemedsorealandGrimmjowwasthereandOrihimewasevilandAizencrazyVaisardevilfood-"

"Szayel" Aizen's calm voice interrupted "I believe that all you had was a nightmare induced by your feverish state…"

Szayel whimpered looking at Aizen questionably like a lost puppy, or like an escaped barefooted mental patient.

"By god he's lost it!" Grimmjow exclaimed from his place at the table.

"Really…" Nnoitra scribbled in a little book.

Stark snored, Halibel tsk'd, someone snorted.

And Szayel lost consciousness, due to his sickness, landing on none other than Ulquiorra.

**-The End-**

* * *

IF: Hmmm I'll make other Bleach arrancar stories...less chapters and one shots, since my muse is wiped out on the 10th chapter of this story.

I'm planning a multi chapter this time starring Szayel as the main character…Unlike this one where the attention was more spread out. Mainly it's inspired by the ending of this one. aka. Mr. Sick Szayel. It will be a humor fic again…I guess. –crawls away to plan an actual story line-


End file.
